Dearly Beloved
by greenstuff2
Summary: A wedding, a bridesmaid and a guest in the church that she hadn't expected to see...
1. Chapter 1

_**A/N: This is a one shot that I wrote as part of something else, but things change - so I've listened to the people who have been encouraging and decided to publish – it is set between Molly's visit to our poor wounded Captain in his hospital bed and their fateful lunch in Bath, and we all know what happened next ... Btw, I know about the rogue word 'for' that is in there, just don't know where it came from or how to get rid of it !**_

-OG-

She had never fainted in her life, had maybe passed out once or twice from a bit of over indulgence, on one memorable occasion ending up face planted in her mashed potatoes, but fainted? No, never, but she'd gone all muzzy and peculiar with cheeks that were boiling hot and hands like blocks of ice as everything drained away like water going down the plughole. She was just about managing to put one foot in front of the other, to walk, although she didn't know how exactly, it was a bit of a miracle seeing as her legs were shaking like jelly as she focused up on the middle of Jackie's back and concentrated on not throwing up. Everything would be okay, as long as his Lady Luck or the gods of whatever were listening and didn't let her puke. Please, not here, not now, Jackie would never ever forgive her.

It was shock, it bloody had to be, she'd been alright before they'd come inside and she knew from training that adrenaline from shock can do all sorts, make you go fuzzy and light-headed and turn your knees to water and that, so that was all it was, she had to keep telling herself, it was just the shock of him being there when he was the last person she'd expected to see and no-one had bleeding warned her.

She'd spotted him the second the bloke on the organ had started up with 'Here Comes the Bride' and they'd begun to walk up the aisle, and there he was, she'd known it was him straight off even though he had his back to her, there was no mistake even in that sea of khaki and even before he turned round to look at Jackie and her dad. He'd lost a shed load of weight so that his uniform looked way big on him, which maybe wasn't surprising in the circumstances and well, he'd always been quite slim really, his waist and hips a bit on the skinny side to be honest, but the rest of him had made up for it with his broad shoulders and muscles. But right now he looked as though a good hard shove would snap him in two or send him flying, as though he needed feeding up or something.

She knew all about losing bloody weight. Belinda kept on at her all the time, every time she said she wasn't hungry her mum kept asking her whether she'd got one of them eating thingies, and was it to do with what had gone on in Afghan, and even Jackie had bollocked her earlier when she'd put on her frock, had accused her of going on a sodding diet. But it wasn't like that. It was her hands. They were never completely clean of the smell of blood, especially of _his_ blood. She could smell it whenever she went to eat anything, and it didn't matter how many times she reminded herself that she'd worn gloves, or how many times she washed her hands or how much soap and hot water she used to scrub them raw, it was still there, so that her appetite had disappeared, vanished so even the stuff she normally pigged out on tasted all wrong.

-OG-

"Lovely"

She'd put the frock on with a sinking feeling in her gut, and had used his favourite word because that was what she did these days, copying him had become an habit, a bad one she was going to have to break once she'd got through this. She thought, no she bloody knew, that she looked anything but _lovely_ "Bit on the big side though innit?"

She bent forward and pulled a face as she looked at herself in the mirror. The dress wasn't her, she didn't suit pink floaty shit, but then it wasn't as if she hadn't known what it was like when they'd bought it. Her and Jack and Jackie's mum had gone to this place in Coventry that was choc full of white sticky out wedding dresses, all of them with glittery bits and bobs on them and beads and bits of lace and loads of net and all sorts of shit that Jackie had loved, but that she'd hated. If she ever did manage to find some bloke to marry, one that hadn't got lost on the way so that he'd ended up marrying someone else, she wouldn't go anywhere near that sort of place, that sort of dress. Simple, that's what she'd have, but simple was probably a swear word in a place like that, same as cheap, and simple and cheap just about covered her options. She had better things to do with her money and her mum and dad didn't have an American Express like Jackie's mum.

By the time they'd got to the bridesmaids' frocks she was desperate to get out of the place, so had just gone along with it all, but she hadn't thought she looked like she was wearing her bloody nightie. Not then.

She ran a hand over her head and pulled another face. If wearing a nightie wasn't going to be enough for the lads to be ripping the piss out of her for the next ten years, even though she wouldn't be part of 2 Section anymore she'd still see them sometimes, or at least that's what she hoped, then her hair would be the bleeding icing on the cake. The twat of an hairdresser who'd been posing and prancing around Jackie's bedroom showing off how camp he was by wearing horrible skin-tight pink jeans which showed off the bulge of his dick and had rips and hair dye stains and funny coloured bits where he'd spilled bleach, had pulled her hair back tight enough for it to hurt and then pinned it into this huge curly bun thing on the back of her head, sticking flowers in it here and there. He'd totally ignored all her howls of pain and protest that he was pinching her scalp and pulling her hair, and she bloody hated how it looked. She hated it even more than she hated the frock and that was saying something. It didn't even look like her hair and it certainly didn't feel like her hair, it didn't even feel like real hair. He'd used about two hundred hair grips and at least a whole tin of industrial strength lacquer so it looked like her head had been dipped in that varnish that does exactly what it says on the tin.

She thought she looked like an alien. An alien wearing a bloody pink nightie.

"Shit, I look bleeding TERRIBLE, Jacks" She twisted around and turned backwards and forwards in front of the mirror trying to see the back view, when she caught sight of the expression on the other girl's face and suddenly realized that she was possibly upsetting her "No offence mate"

"Oh no, perish the bloody thought" Jackie allowed her huffy sarcasm to show as she raised her eyebrows and forced a laugh, baring her teeth in a rictus grin "Stop fishing for compliments and shut up, it's fine"

"Really?" Molly looked at herself again in the mirror, and then shook her head "Sorry don't mean to …. But it's not, really it's not"

"Take it off and I'll get mum to have a look, see if she can do something with it, you know, take it in a bit" Even though it might not have been strictly Molly's fault that the dress was a bit on the generous side, it felt like typical Molly Dawes, trouble following her around as usual. Jackie was pretty sure it was going to take a minor miracle for her mother to make the dress fit in time for the wedding, but she had to try, the photos were going to be crap unless they did something.

Molly lifted up the skirt of the dress that was supposed to be tightly nipped into her waist with a full skirt flaring out around her, but wasn't, it was hanging off her instead, and sniggered "'ere, Jacks, is it s'posed to be big enough for me to get a couple of squaddies under 'ere with me if I get bored"

"No it bloody isn't, and you are not going to get that sort of bored, not at my wedding … slapper" Jackie looked around hastily, suddenly worried that her mum might be somewhere within earshot "It's your own fault Molls, you shouldn't have gone on a diet"

"I didn't, honestly Jacks, I never, tell you what I think, I reckon the shop might of got it a bit wrong, maybe mixed up the dresses or something" Molly gave her a weak smile, she could hear just how lame that sounded, even to her, but couldn't think of what else to say.

-OG-

He'd called and texted a couple of times but had then given up, probably because he was well pissed with her. She'd hadn't seen him for a month, well more than that, four weeks and three days to be exact, and she hadn't spoken to him either and it had been one of the longest four weeks and three days of her entire life. It wasn't that she hadn't wanted to talk to him or keep her promise and go back and see him, the day after she'd got home on leave she'd lied and told her mum and dad she was going to Birmingham to see Smurf in the hospital and had almost got on a train, but then she'd had this sudden flash of something, reality or fear or something or other. What the fuck was she going to talk to him about? His wife and little boy? Thank him for her medal? Cheers, thanks Boss, then what? Ask him if they'd really stopped waiting out? Whether he'd resigned his commission yet and put his career down the shitter? He might not even remember telling her all that, he'd been pumped full of morphine when she'd seen him, and she should know what that did to people, she'd seen enough of them be away with the bloody fairies when they'd been given it. No, she needed to think about it a bit more and then get a later train when she'd sorted it out in her head.

So she'd wandered round and ended up drinking endless cups of tea in some café near Euston, telling herself it was a bit late now and that she would go to Birmingham another day, but by that time she knew she wouldn't, that she was kidding herself. So she ended up killing more time till she could go home without having to explain anything and had told even more lies when she got there, telling herself it was the right thing for her to do and that she'd get over it.

But she wasn't over him, not yet, not totally, well, nowhere near in fact, she missed him, missed thinking about him, missed that feeling she used to have of somehow belonging with him, even if it was only in her head. The only time she'd been able to get any peace in her nut was when she was out pounding the streets and not thinking too much, when she'd been trying to get tired enough to sleep when her head hit the springs, instead of spending night after night tossing and turning for hours on bloody end, remembering and going over and over everything in her head.

The thought of spending a whole afternoon surrounded by people she hadn't seen since their medal parade, lovely as they might be, but without him, was something she was dreading. Hearing people talk about him, mention his name, ask about him, talk about how he was getting on, even if they weren't talking to her, was something she couldn't bear to think about. It would be Cyprus all over again.

-OG-

Abigail and Florence, the two little bridesmaids that Jackie was convinced her mum had hired from some agency, although her mum said they were second cousins twice removed or something, looked adorable in their pink flouncy frocks with flowers in their hair, Molly wished she could say the same. Jackie's mum had done the best she could in the time she'd had and it did look a lot better than it had, but she'd warned her not to move her arms about too much, or anything else for that matter because it was held together with tacking stitches and safety pins, so the least little bit of pressure on the seams would lead to her showing off her knockers or her knickers, in church. But at least it didn't look like someone else could get in it with her any more.

There was a crowd of people in khaki and a whole bunch of girls in pretty frocks all milling about outside the church laughing and chatting, and loads of kids making a huge racket playing round the gravestones, although their parents were probably making more noise yelling at them to pack it in or they'd get all messed up.

"Dawsey, DAWSEY"

Suddenly there they were, this whole group of familiar faces all crowding round, pushing and shoving each other out the way as they competed to get close enough to rip the piss out of her as she stood there in fancy dress.

"Oi, Smurfy, SMURFY, look, over here mate, look …. It's Mrs Smurf" He was pointing down at her head as he tried to get Smurf's attention then grabbed hold of her under her arms to lift her up.

"Fuck off Baz"

Molly was just a fraction too late to stop herself blurting out that she had to be careful else her dress would fall apart, knowing as she heard the words leave her mouth that telling this lot something like that was asking for it, they'd make it their mission for the afternoon to make sure of it.

"Nah, come on pack it in you lot, don't want to make a spectacle of meself"

She could hear the wheedling, pleading tone in her voice that was greeted by a chorus of loud laughs and hoots of derision and invitations for Smurf to comment on the possibility of her showing off her tits in public. She couldn't help wondering what the hell he'd been saying to them this time, it didn't seem to make any difference what she said, they still kept on with insisting the two of them were an item. Although she had to admit it probably had something to do with her going along with the Vegas shit, although they hadn't actually booked anything yet, it was on the horizon and short of being downright nasty to him in front of his mates, which she didn't want to do, she couldn't see any way of getting them to just leave it. But despite everything she was going to miss this lot, another ten days and she'd be back in her own unit and they'd probably forget all about her.

"What's he like then?" Dangles nodded his head in the direction of the groom who was enjoying a fag with his best man round the corner of the church. He was obviously not sure whether smoking was allowed, judging by the way he kept looking over his shoulder and cupping his palm round the lighted cigarette in his hand.

"He's okay I s'pose" Molly shrugged and looked round "Don't know him that well, but, you know, he's alright"

Molly had always had a suspicion that Dangles had a soft spot for Jackie, but it was definitely far too late now for any changes of heart, and as far as Molly was concerned 'alright' just about summed the groom up. She didn't know him that well but had spent several evenings trying not to be rude and yawn as he'd talked about his job in logistics. In her heart of hearts she thought Jackie had settled for someone who wasn't going set anything on fire, nice enough bloke, charming even, or so Jackie said, but dead boring as well as a bit short and a bit on the plump side. But then Jackie had made no secret of the fact that she wanted to get married, and that he'd do, and he _was_ alright, although Molly knew that if she was talking to the boss about him she'd have made him laugh by saying _alright_ was a euphemism for 'a boring tiresome git'.

"Here, Molls, what you done to your hair? Looks ….. a bit …dunno" Mansfield slung an arm round her shoulders before almost sticking his nose on it as he made a close-up inspection, then scratched his head with a puzzled frown on his face.

"Are you sayin' my hair looks a bit shit?"

"Nah, I wouldn't say anything like that" He looked almost as if he was about to burst into tears as he turned a horrified face in her direction making Molly a bit sorry she'd said it.

"Don't worry, mate, it's not mine, I borrowed it off an alien"

"Did you?"

"Yeah, couldn't you tell?"

A look of total bewilderment appeared on his face. He sort of knew he was being well and truly wound up, but she'd said it with such straight faced conviction that he wasn't 100% sure about what, and there was definitely something different about her hair.

'

-OG-

She managed to get through the service and out the other side without making a tit of herself, she hadn't thrown up and had stood up and sat down and followed the happy couple about without doing anything peculiar to draw attention to herself and now they were stood outside the church to take photos, lots of photos, with the whole bloody lot of the wedding party in all sorts of different combinations. Again as far as she knew she'd managed to smile in all the right places, which was a fucking miracle in itself, seeing as how her mind was somewhere else entirely.

She could see him out the corner of her eye where he was stood in the middle of a circle of the lads and they were all talking and laughing, and obviously having a great time catching up, all except her, and she had to keep saying bloody 'cheese' for the photographer, except he obviously thought he was trendy, so kept telling them to say 'sex' instead. Wanker.

-OG-

"Daaawes"

He was biting his lip and smiling at her, drawling out her name in a way that took her straight back to Afghan as he raised an eyebrow and nodded to indicate the glass in her hand "Champagne?"

"Hello …. umm nah thanks, already got some"

"Indeed … yep, I can see that ….. but that's not quite what I … it's alright, it doesn't matter, I was just surprised to see you drinking alcohol, I thought you looked a bit pale in church, that you might not be feeling so great"

"I'm fine now thanks"

There was no way she was going to explain her wobbly, not to him, even though she couldn't think what the fuck to talk about now he was standing in front of her with those beautiful brown eyes of his all concerned. God, she'd missed him.

"Nice frock"

"Really? Glad _you_ think so" Oh god, now she sounded like she was fishing for compliments.

"I do actually, don't you?" He was laughing when she shook her head, searching around for something else to say.

"How are you, how's the leg?"

"As you can see" He gestured towards the support boot "Back home to Bath after this"

God, this was crap, standing in this little bubble of awkwardness and both struggling to know what to say. This was why she hadn't got on that train, this was what she'd been afraid of, it was her worst fucking nightmare come true and he must be regretting that he'd come over to talk to her, was probably looking for some way to get away. She didn't think she could bear it, the way they could talk for hours without trying had been one of the things that had made her feel the way she did about him.

"I'm sorry I never … that I didn't…" " _It's really good to see_ …" They both started talking at the exact same moment and then both stopped, again at the same moment, and then both laughed with a tinge of embarrassment.

"Go on, after you"

"Nah, it's alright, I was just gonna say I'm really dead sorry I never … that I didn't …."

"Molly, forget it, don't worry about it …. Look, I need to ask you something before that lot over there decide to come and join us" He nodded his head in the direction of the lads who were standing in a small huddle watching their exchange with undisguised interest "Lunch on Friday in Bath, I mean, would you like to have lunch on Friday, I'll book a table in a nice restaurant and we can talk properly …. catch up …. only if you'd like to that is"

"What, with you?"

"No, I thought I'd ask for Mansfield who's on his way over here by the way ….. of course with me … I'd really like it if you said yes"

"Yeah, I'd really like that as well … lunch with Mansfield I mean"

"Of course, what else"

-OG-

for


	2. Chapter 2

_**A/N: Okay so I decided to carry on with this – I know, I know – this is purely about the lead up to the date, and has been written with the help and collaboration of Debbie Fincham. I have not included any conversations between CJ and Molly (phone call) that would cut across what we already know (what they talked about in the restaurant) but chapter 3 will add to that conversation as well as what happened next ….**_

 _ **-OG-**_

Lunch? With him? Just the two of them?

Okay, so it was in Bath and not exactly round the corner from her, but he'd told her once about how he'd grown up there and how he loved the place, and he probably couldn't drive with his leg in a support boot and she didn't remember whether she'd told him if she could or not, which she couldn't, but she didn't really give a shit, she'd get a train, there was always plenty of trains. She was hugging her happiness to herself as he turned away to speak to Mansfield who'd come barreling over, but she couldn't help that this huge surge of joy and excitement and all sorts was spreading through her and making her desperate to smile, or laugh out loud, jump up and down, do _something,_ because everything she'd believed to be true had changed in the last couple of minutes. All that shit she'd been trying to convince herself of for weeks, well for four weeks and three days to be exact, about how she was better off away from him, how she should forget all about him and concentrate on her job and maybe on getting promoted, was just that, a pile of crap. She didn't feel any different about him now than she had when she'd stood by his bed in Birmingham, she'd just put her life on _pause_.

To give him his due he didn't look even the tiniest bit phased that Mansfield might have overheard what they'd been saying, he just raised his eyebrows and waited with that "come on then" look on his face inviting Mansfield to spill whatever it was he was clearly dying to tell them. Molly on the other hand was starting to cringe inside at the thought that the big idiot might go back and share what he'd overheard with the rest of them, or even worse that if he said something it would encourage Smurf to fill them in with what he knew. At the moment Smurf seemed to be suffering from a very handy spot of amnesia about the conversation they'd had while they'd been waiting for the boss to come back from the operation on his leg, and all the stuff that had gone on in the compound by the bridge, or at least he didn't seem to have told the lads about any of it. Not yet. Because if he had, there was one thing was for sure, there was no way they would keep their gobs shut.

"Hey Boss, did our Dawsey tell you about what happened to her hair?"

"Nope, not a word" He gave a little sideways glance at the hair in question and grinned then turned back to look at Mansfield giving a little shake of his head "Please don't tell me that if I ask you what the fuck you're talking about, I'm going to regret it afterwards"

"No, course not Boss, it's just she told me she got it done by an alien or something like that, and the lads all reckon she was proper winding me up, but …. well … I thought I'd ask you what you thought"

"Yup, I knew this was going to be a mistake"

Somehow it didn't matter that her dress was falling apart, that one of the side seams had come undone a bit so she had to keep her arm flat against her side and could only bend it up from the elbow like a puppet, which made her look a bit odd but there was a danger that the seam was going unravel completely, and it didn't matter that her hair looked so bloody weird that even Mansfield had noticed, she was happy. His head was thrown back as he'd laughed at the bewildered expression on Mansfield's face and he'd given her one of his sly little winks as the lads all came charging over to join them, and it didn't matter that they were now all crowding round, laughing and teasing her and that they were making a racket all talking at once as they told the boss about the fragility of her frock, all she wanted was to stay exactly where she was. She wanted to stay a part of this happy laughing group, with him, until it was time for them to go home. But there was a really long time to go till then and Jackie kept on beckoning for her to go over and join them at the top table, to do her bridesmaid's duties, whatever the fuck they were, and even she could see there was a limit to how long she could keep up the pretending not to notice that the bride wanted her. Sooner or later she was going to have to go and be polite, and also to see if Jackie's mum could stitch her back in her frock.

"I must say you look a lot happier than you did earlier dear, you're obviously feeling better now"

Jackie's mum Sandra was squinting trying to thread a needle as she tackled doing the running repair to the dress while Molly stood in the mirror-lined Ladies with her arms crossed over her chest and wished she was at least wearing a bra. Every time the door swung open she was dead worried that she was showing off her tits to every bugger who happened to be passing on their way to the Gents and was just hoping against hope that it wouldn't be someone who knew her who'd then go back and tell other people, so that they'd all come for a bit of a gawp.

"Yeah I am thanks, much better"

Well, that was an understatement to beat all other understatements she'd ever come out with … _ever_.

"Good, I must admit I was a bit bothered that you were going to keel over there, for a while you looked as though you'd woken up at your own autopsy"

"Shit … I mean sorry … I dunno why I felt like that ….. but it's gone now …. at this rate Jacks is gonna be dead sorry she asked me"

"Rubbish" Sandra patted her lightly on her arm "Don't be silly … none of this was your fault, and you stayed with us so not a problem, now, put this on and we'll get back in there and you just tell that bunch of lads from me that if they cause another frock crisis, they'll have me to deal with"

"Thanks …. But not sure it was them, think it might have been me"

-OG-

The meal was in all likelihood delicious, and even though she felt almost normal for the first time in weeks, Molly had no bloody idea what she was eating. Her stomach was churning away, not only from two glasses of Champagne which had burned the lining of her empty stomach like neat petrol, and not with the need to be sick, and not with the smell of blood on her hands, for once she'd forgotten all about that, but with this bubble of excitement that was making her legs tremble and her face keep breaking into a grin.

 _Lunch with him, on Friday, just them, no-one else_.

Every few minutes she found her eyes straying to where he was sitting eating his dinner with a group of people she didn't recognise, most likely friends of Jackie's parents or something, and every time she let her gaze linger on him for more than a couple of seconds, he'd seem to sense her looking and he'd look up, his brown eyes lingering on her, and then smile, so that suddenly Friday seemed to be a hell of a lot longer away than six days.

He left a long time before the reception was over. Dinner was finished and the speeches and toasts were done as well, although Molly hadn't really heard a word that anyone said, and they were just starting to clear the floor for dancing when she saw some older bloke come in the hall and start slapping him on the back as they began to laugh together. He looked so like the boss that Molly assumed that he was his dad or maybe his older brother, she didn't even know if he had one, as the two of them started to walk towards the door, stopping on the way to say something to Jacks and Molly wanted to run after him and ask him how she was going to know where to meet him for lunch, shit, had he forgotten about her already? She wasn't sure she'd still got his number on her phone so that she could ring him and ask, or whether she'd gone all stupid and deleted it, and she couldn't even check because her phone was back at Jackie's mum's house. He stopped by the door and turned to smile at her and did that 'I'll call you' thing with his hand, and next thing he was gone and the rest of the bloody party stretched out in front of her like a desert.

She'd have been quite happy to call it a day herself, to go home and think about Friday, and him, but she obviously couldn't, not yet. She was the bloody bridesmaid so she couldn't just up and leave, not when Jackie hadn't even chucked her flowers yet or anything, no, it was going to be bitter end for her so she might as well try and enjoy the rest of it as best she could, even if he wasn't there. Have a couple of Vodkas or something.

-OG-

"You look a lot happier today Molls …. I thought you'd be suffering, that you'd at least 'ave a bit of an headache …. Nice though was it? Nothing like a good wedding"

Nan was bustling around the kitchen busily emptying her oilcloth bag of the food that she'd just liberated from some shop without their consent, or knowledge, and chattering away at the same time not waiting for answers. Molly had perched her bum on the edge of the work surface and was idly swinging her legs backwards and forwards and kicking the cupboard door underneath as she sipped her mug of tea, unable to completely wipe the grin off her face since the afternoon before, although there had now been a bit of a worryingly long silence from him.

"Yeah, it was good, but it wasn't that sort of do Nan, it was a bit posh so there was no bleeding punch up or anything at the end"

"Your turn next … you just mark my words my girl, although bound to be a fight once your dad gets going, eh?"

"Well I wouldn't hold me breath if I was you Nan, I'm in the army"

"Yeah, and what's that got to do with the price of fish? So is that Smurfy"

"Nan, I've told you before, me and Smurf… not gonna happen, it's not like that"

"'n I've told you before young lady, you could do a lot worse than 'im, he's a good 'un"

Molly shook her head and swung herself down, once again checking her phone for messages, not that she expected to see anything, she hadn't heard a ping, but she didn't want to look Nan in the face either because her grandmother was a sort of divining rod where she was concerned. She'd be interrogating her for every tiny detail if she caught sight of the happy grin that Molly was beginning to worry was a little bit on the premature side.

She was lying on her bunk turning her phone over and over in her hands when it rang and made her jump out of her skin, she'd begun to think it wasn't going to happen when his name came up on the screen. She'd been about to give him up as lost. She'd been scrolling to his name on her contact list over and over, had kept on telling herself that maybe he'd thought he had her number but then found he hadn't, or maybe he'd been trying to tell her to ring him, but even though she was desperate to talk to him, her pride wouldn't let her do it. How bloody awful would it be if he told her he'd just changed his mind?

-OG-

It didn't seem to matter to him that she'd gone back to being that girl who was a bit lost for what to say to him, that's if he even noticed, because once they'd sorted out where they were meeting and what time, it was his turn to sound a bit unsure and worried as he asked if she was okay with going all the way to Bath. She'd badly wanted to laugh out loud, she'd have been alright going to the fucking moon if he'd asked her and if he was promising to be there waiting when she got there, not that she was going to tell him that of course, she didn't want him to panic and run screaming for the hills.

"I'm off up west Mum, got some shopping to do"

"It's a bit late innit, darlin'? It's Sunday, the shops'll be shutting soon"

"Oh shit, I forgot, I'll leave it till the morning then"

As soon as she'd stopped talking to him and hung up, she'd realized she'd got nothing to wear. She had clothes, course she had clothes, but nothing even remotely suitable for going for lunch in some posh restaurant and he'd never seen her wearing anything but combats, except for the day before when she'd been wearing that god-awful pink floaty thing. Although he'd said he liked it, so maybe she should look for something like that, except of course, he was probably just saying that to be polite.

Oxford Street on a Monday morning in the drizzle was not her idea of fun. It was hot in the shops and sticky and sweaty and crowded and she had no bloody idea what she was even looking for, just something that would blow his socks off. So there she was looking through racks and racks of stuff, pulling things out, looking at them, putting them up against herself, looking in the mirror and then pulling faces and putting them back, going into changing rooms and stripping off to try on stuff that looked shit on her and that she hated and then tugging them off again, feeling all sweaty and scruffy and horrible. She'd got her deployment money so had never had so much to spend on anything in her whole life before, so who bloody knew it was going to be that hard.

Her Pretty Woman moment came in John Lewis. An assistant in the Hobbs concession came over and asked if she was looking for something special and there was something about her posh voice and the way she asked that made Molly feel patronised to fuck. She was tired and hot and bloody fed up and determined that no-one was going to look down on her, and if the girl thought it was okay to do it then she was going to end up being bloody sorry she'd chosen her to mess with, the mood she was in. But it wasn't like that.

Jane was about the same age as her, or maybe a bit older and had asked her loads of questions about what sort of thing she was looking for and what sort of occasion it was and Molly found herself telling her all about having to find something to wear for a date with someone who was a lot older than her and who was the best looking bloke she'd ever seen in her life. What she didn't mention of course was that he'd been her boss for six months or anything about them both being in the army, she wasn't sure she could explain it without making it seem a bit sleazy. Her new found friend turned out to be incredibly nice so they'd ended up giggling together over the frock that made her look like a flat-chested nun and the one that she got stuck in, and then the one that made her look like a cheap little tart but which cost a fucking fortune, before they both agreed that the white and grey knee length dress was the ONE. It was a _grown-up_ dress that fitted her perfectly, not too short and not too long, it was ladylike and classy and elegant and made her look taller, and was just about the nicest thing she'd ever bought and also the most bloody expensive.

Jane wrapped it reverently in tissue paper and put it in a posh carrier and then persuaded her to go with some seriously high heeled black sandals that she could almost walk in, a few days practice walking up and down her bedroom and she'd be fine. Her new style guru then started on about her getting new knickers and a proper bra, telling her that the sports bra she had on didn't really do justice to the frock. Molly was pretty sure it was mainly because Jane was a bit shocked at the strong hint of grey, the underwear she was wearing had been lucky enough to get in the wash with Dave's socks.

"Excuse me, what sort of girl do you think I am? I'm meeting him for lunch, he's not gonna see me knickers"

"Of course he's not, I wouldn't dream of suggesting anything of the sort" Jane sniggered loudly "But it's a well known fact that if you're wearing nice knickers it helps you feel better …more … confident"

"I've never heard that one before"

"It's true … honestly" Jane laughed "I wouldn't lie about something like that … really I wouldn't do that, not after everything we've been through together"

The two of them had ended up sniggering, but four days later Molly was more glad than she could say that she'd listened to the girl who'd been so kind to her in John Lewis. She did feel good knowing that under her lovely new dress she was wearing lovely new white lace knickers and bra. They were sexy, so they made her feel sexy, and they fitted properly so they made her dress look even better on her and she could use all the help she could get as she got on the train to Bath. She'd changed her mind about four million times about whether to take anything with her, but had decided against it in the end, only popping a pair of her new knickers and a toothbrush into the bottom of her bag at the last minute, then telling herself she had to be careful not to pull them out by mistake. She'd meant what she'd said to Jane about not wanting him to think she was that kind of girl, they were just there for insurance, just in case of a disaster or something, nothing else.

She was more than half way to Bath when the 'what if's' started. What if he wasn't there? Should she wait for him or go home or what? What if he didn't turn up at all? What if he took one look and changed his mind about her, or what if he took one look and pissed himself laughing at the obvious effort she'd made, at her stupid new dress, oh shit, she knew it had been a mistake.

But all her doubts, all her 'what ifs' disappeared the minute she walked through the door into the restaurant. He was already there, sitting waiting for her which took care of one of her panic moments on the train, and he looked absolutely drop dead bloody gorgeous as he got up and walked towards her with this huge smile of welcome on his face, he was very obviously as happy to see her as she was to see him. In all her fretting and worrying about what she looked like, she'd forgotten that he wouldn't be in his uniform either. He looked years younger in his civvies, and if anything looked even better in his blue blazer than he did in combats.

"Hello .." He met her half way from the door to the table where he'd been sitting and kissed her cheek, before he whispered "You look beautiful ….."

"You don't look so shabby yourself …."


	3. Chapter 3

_**A/N: This has ended up much longer than I first intended and I'm sorry it took so long but it was a lot harder than I expected. This is re-write number 3 so am putting it out before I start number 4, I didn't want it to be a 'he said, she said' because we all know what they said – well those of us that have watched the scene a few times like me (well a few hundred in my case) but I wanted to stick within the boundaries of what we know – just expand on the bits where I felt I'd been robbed, but I didn't want to end up with a sex instruction manual either, so decided not to get too explicit …. I also didn't do CJ's p.o.v., there's a suggestion that we could go there, but it will depend on whether anyone wants it, and in the meantime I'm going back to the Barn …**_

 _ **-OG-**_

She'd spent a whole lot of the last week thinking and worrying and then worrying a bit more about what she was going to wear and what to do with her hair and gob because she'd badly wanted him to see her at her best. Or better than that really because her best wasn't all that to write home about, and apart from that shitty horrible pink thing and her dodgy hair-do with flowers, he'd never seen her wearing anything except army gear or a West Ham shirt.

She'd also spent a lot of time rehearsing in her head what she was going to talk to him about, although she forgot all of it the minute she clapped eyes on him and they'd begun to have one conversation with their words and another one, the important one, with their eyes. The one thing she hadn't spent any time at all thinking about was that he'd only just got out of hospital and how close he'd come to dying on her. It was only when she saw how shit he looked, he'd gone deadly pale with beads of sweat on his face, that she realised just how much effort it was for him to climb the bloody stairs that her heart clenched.

.

"You alright?"

"Of course I am ...…. why wouldn't I be?"

She knew she shouldn't have bothered to ask, that she might of bloody known he'd say something like that and use that snotty tone of voice he was so good at, his Rupert voice.

"Dunno .. just wondering" She considered the very real possibility that she was going to end up holding him up at the top of the stairs and that he was a hell of a lot heavier than her "It's just ...thought you looked a bit ... shit, so if you're going to keel over on me we need to get away from the top of these bloody stairs, I don't fancy ending up falling down 'em"

"You and your falling down the fucking stairs…. I'm fine, I'm not about to _keel over_ as you so eloquently put it"

"If you say so" Her tone suggested that no matter how shitty he got with her she was still going to think he was talking complete bollocks "And if I knew what that word meant, I'd probably agree with you"

"What?"

"Whatever it was you just said" She shrugged "Look, you know best ... probably ... so ..." She took a deep breath and pinned a non-committal smile on her face as if she was just a bit interested "Does it still hurt, stupid question, course it does"

He was beginning to look a lot more like himself by the time he let go of the newel post, his colour had come back and to Molly's utter relief he'd started to move from the potential disaster zone that was the top of the stairs, jerking his head inviting her to follow him. But she wasn't the only one who was taken aback at his level of exhaustion, it was the first time he'd done the stairs without stopping at least once to rest his leg, and he hadn't expected it to be anything like as hard as it had been, but the last thing he wanted was her sympathy. He absolutely loathed the idea that she would feel sorry for him when what he wanted was for her to see him the way she always had.

"Sorry ... "

He wanted to say something about how he shouldn't have taken it out on her, he'd seen the look on her face when he'd snapped like that, but old habits die very hard so he smiled apologetically instead and hoped she'd understand that he hadn't meant to upset her, that underneath he knew it was because she cared.

"I expect I'll live"

"Yeah, expect you will... so ... that's alright then, innit?"

She knew he hadn't meant anything by what he'd said, well, neither had she, it was just the sort of thing people say all the time, so what the fuck was there for her to start crying about? But it seemed like she was so she started to blink furiously trying to will the tears back where they'd come from, shit, she'd thought she was over all that shit and anyway she didn't want him to see, didn't want to talk to him about it. She didn't want to have to explain about how scared she'd been that he was going to die, that she wasn't going to be able to tell him that she loved him how sorry she was that she'd got him shot, or that she didn't give a shit anymore about him not telling her stuff as long as he didn't die. Nothing else had mattered.

"Sorry, don't know why I'm bawling" The tears were tearing at her throat until she caved in and a sob emerged "This is ridiculous ... sorry"

"Sssh..."

He put his hands on her shoulders and turned her round to face him, and then wiped away the tears with his thumb before pulling her into his arms and stroking her hair "Hey don't look like that"

"I'm not ..." His kindness almost proved to be the last straw in her battle with the tears. She could feel a full blown snot attack was imminent, and was going to spoil any chance she had for at least a snog, so tried to grin "It's bloody ridiculous, dunno why I'm crying ... it was just you saying about ..." She swallowed hard and stopped in mid-sentence, talking about it was not a good idea, it was going to start her off again.

"Did you talk to anyone, you know, afterwards?"

"Nah, well Kinders a bit, but couldn't tell him much could I? 'n I didn't wanna go and tell lies to some wonk in a white coat, he'd of thought I was a space cadet"

"He wouldn't you know ... and it's not too late"

"Yeah it is ... and I can't see the point ... not now you're all .. better"

When he'd woken in Birmingham and opened his eyes to find her there, tired and scruffy in her combats with red-rimmed eyes and utterly beautiful, he'd actually thought he was still dreaming or was hallucinating from the drugs so when he'd put his hand out for her to take it in hers, a part of him had been making sure she was really there. He'd needed to be sure he wasn't imagining it, any more than he imagined the comfort of her hand as she stroked his hair back.

Now he desperately wanted to be the one who was comforting her, so he tightened his arms round her until her head was against his chest and he rested his chin on top, and for Molly the circle of his arms felt like a safe warm place, one where there was no need for any more

words and where nothing and no-one else existed.

His kiss was the gentlest touch imaginable, a tiny sliding of his lips on hers which created an acute need for him to angle himself away from her to try and hide just how much that gentle touch of her lips had affected him, the rock hard erection was going to be pretty impossible to disguise if they stayed holding each other the way they were.

-OG-

Lying side by side just a few inches away from him, after all the times she'd had to keep her distance, when they'd been waiting out and she'd had difficulty keeping her hands off of him made her stomach dissolve into this complete pool of longing. The legacy of wanting and waiting and dreaming and being afraid people would notice meant that she was flooded this feeling of sheer bloody happiness and couldn't stop her face from smiling. He was gazing at her with a look on his face that told her it was as if he couldn't quite believe she was there with him as he stroked her hair and tucked it behind her ear with gentle hands, then ran his fingers down her face until he leaned over and kissed her and she forgot everything else. The kisses got harder and harder and the more kisses they exchanged the more their need for more became urgent. She hooked her leg over him to hold him in the cradle of her thighs to make bloody sure he didn't move away from her then moved her hips against his groin and heard him groan as his fingers began to fiddle with her zip and slide it down her back.

"Hang on, I'll do it" Her voice was husky as if she hadn't spoken for ages. Being stripped and seduced by him was a lovely idea but she had to go home on the train in her dress "I need to hang it up or put it somewhere straight, else it's gonna look like I've been to bed in it"

The look on his face and the way he bit his bottom lip when she stood next to the bed in her bra and knickers and nothing else made the tiny bits of white lace seem worth every single bloody penny she'd spent on a load of stuff no-one was ever supposed to see. But the way he was looking at her made her go all self conscious so that she held the stupid dress up in front of her to try and hide behind it before draping it on the back of a chair and telling herself to stop being a muppet. This was Charles, okay she wasn't really used to calling him that, not yet, but she'd been wanting this for months, had thought about little else every night when she'd been in her pit, had dreamt about, so why did she have this feeling of being shy when the look on his face and the way he was breathing told her Jane had been dead right to bully her into buying the knickers even if Molly had lied and said they weren't for his benefit. They were she'd known that all along and Jane probably had as well. .

His pupils of his eyes were huge and almost black when he reached out and pulled her back on the bed against him. His body was pressed against hers as he kissed her on her naked shoulders with his heart beating against hers and then ran his long fingers under the straps of her bra, sliding them down her arms before reaching round to unhook it and throw it somewhere. She thought about trying to help as he undid a few buttons on his shirt but he tugged it impatiently over his head without stopping, even when there was a loud ripping noise, and then slid out of his jeans. He hooked his fingers into the waistband of the stretchy black trunks he was wearing that were seriously bent out of shape at the front, before he tugged them off to leave her staring and at a loss for words.

He'd told her she was beautiful, he'd said it over and over, but bloody hell, so was he, he was really beautiful, even more than she'd ever imagined, and she'd done some pretty vivid imagining over the months. She'd been wrong, he hadn't lost too much weight, he looked just the same as he had when she'd lusted after him in the FOB. The wide shoulders and the muscles, the ones she'd spent hours and hours looking at, hadn't changed, and his slim hips with the faint line of dark hair leading down from his stomach, and even the livid pink line of the scar didn't matter, it was all just a part of him, and he was perfect. And despite trying really hard to be a lady and keep from staring, she couldn't stop looking at his erection, it was every bit what she'd imagined.

-OG-

His long fingers stroked and caressed every bit of her, tender and then firm and then gentle again, sliding his thumbs backwards and forwards over her nipples, teasing the puckered flesh until she had to grab his hands and try to stop him for a bit otherwise she didn't think she could stand it. He stroked and whispered and then kissed, following with his lips where his hands had touched, until she was quivering with longing as he whispered against her again and every bit of her melted, he was driving her bloody nuts with need for him.

And she stroked and caressed him in return, kissing round his neck and down his throat, and then running her hands over the muscles that she'd lusted after. She ran her hands down his back lingering in the hollow at the base of his spine which, judging from the little sounds he made, was an incredibly sensitive spot for him. So she moved her fingers round to his hips and then let them drift back to the sensitive spot again.

But as soon as she moved to touch the hard length of him he gently moved her hands away after just a few seconds and began to drop kisses onto the palms and the insides of her wrists before going back to kissing her body. He obviously wasn't going to let her touch him the way she wanted.

"Why can't I touch you?"

"Molly, you have no idea how much I want ... I want you to touch me, but I've waited one hell of a long time for this" He paused "I don't want it to be over before it's even begun …"

He moved his head and started to kiss the inside of her thigh, which thoroughly distracted her and made it impossible for her to think clearly about anything else except the feel of his stubble on her skin where he nibbled and flicked his tongue and kissed her. He was driving her very close to an orgasm she was desperate to delay as long as she could, not something that Molly was used to doing. But like him, she didn't want any of it to be over. Not yet. She wanted the feelings to last forever, or for at least long enough to give her the sort of memory that would still be there after about a hundred years. She didn't want to ever forget a single minute of it, she just wasn't entirely sure how much longer she could stop herself from begging.

And then the magic sound of a foil wrapper being torn and she stopped thinking about anything but him.

-OG-

"Hey you ... you okay?"

He kissed her damp face as she nodded and then smoothed the equally damp tendrils of her hair behind her ears, smiling all the time with eyes that were brimming with affection and happiness and a deep look of satisfaction.

"I can't believe that you're here ... with me ... ... you are so bloody beautiful" He leaned over her to kiss her again.

"I'm not, I'm just me"

Molly knew she wasn't the prettiest or the sexiest but when he touched her and kissed her and created those sensations he made her feel as if what he said was almost true.

"You are you know ... you're beautiful... perfect" He ran a finger down the side of her face "I was beginning to think this was never going to happen ... except in my bloody dreams, I really thought I'd well and truly fucked it up that day"

"Weren't your fault you got shot ... it was mine"

"How many more times ... No ...it wasn't and I keep telling you that, when are you going to listen? And I wasn't talking about that anyway, I was talking about not telling you about Rebecca, letting you find out the way you did when I knew I should have told you myself"

"Yeah, you should of ... why didn't you? And don't say rules 'n that or us being there to work, or any of the rest of that shit"

"No it wasn't that, it was ... I suppose it was because I didn't want you to stop looking at me the way you did, and I knew how you'd feel ... and I was a bit afraid I'd be pushing you in Smurf's direction, I know how fond of you he is"

"That weren't ever gonna happen" She stopped to think how best to explain "He's not, you know, he just seems to think he is as if he's a bit muddled or something, but he knows there's nothing ever going to happen"

"Are you sure? I heard him last weekend going on and on to everyone who'd listen about the two of you going to Vegas"

"Well yeah ... I sort of said I would, but we're going as mates, nothing else, we'll never be anything else, I love someone else ... 'n he knows that"

"Oh fuck ... I didn't know there was someone else, do I know him?"

"I'm not even gonna answer that, and stop laughing, you'd look a bit bloody silly if I said no you don't know him wouldn't you?"

"Nope, not going to happen" He smirked happily when she giggled "Now don't go anywhere, just stay right where you are"

"Yes Boss"

"Very funny ... fucking hilarious"

"I thought so"

Watching him limp to the bathroom to get rid of the condom made her wince and grit her teeth, but then grin to herself as well at her memories of all the times in the past that she'd watched him walk away and had lusted after him, only he'd always had clothes on before.

Nice bum. Oh fuck, she thought for one horrible moment she'd said it out loud as he walked back to get into the bed, but she obviously hadn't, thank fuck, because he didn't say anything just put an arm round and hugged her into his side with a deep sigh that she hoped was happiness as she buried her nose in the side of his neck.

"How come you always smell so nice?"

"What?" He laughed and kissed the top of her head "I didn't know I did … probably the soap mum puts in the care packages, I think she's afraid I stink"

She had no idea why she'd even asked him that, although when she found out what it was called she was going to buy some and stick it in her knicker drawer so every time she opened it she'd be able to breathe in the smell of him. He always smelled the same, a lovely fresh smell of rainy grass and wet pine cones or something, and he smelled like that even when he was wearing full kit in the heat of the FOB, he was the only bloke she'd ever come across who didn't stink when he was sweaty.

But reluctant as she was, she knew she should get up and go home really, even if doing everything she could think of to prolong her time with him was what she really wanted, but she would hate for him to be lying there with his eyes shut and looking all comfortable when he was actually wondering when she was going to piss off. He hadn't asked her to stay and she couldn't possibly ask him, so she started to scrabble around to look for her bra, her knickers were on the floor next to the bed, but her bra seemed to have disappeared somewhere.

"What are you doing?"

"Can't go on the train like this can I? People will look"

"Go? Where the fuck are you going? Don't go ... please ... I really don't want you to go"

"I can stop for a bit if you like ... but I've got nothing with me" She decided not to mention the spare knickers in her bag, she didn't want to come across as a bit slutty "When are your Mum and Dad back? You don't want some random girl walking around their house with no knickers on when they get back ... unless they're used to it of course"

"They'll be back tomorrow, and no they're bloody not used to it, and you're not some random girl either ... my Mum is going to love you, Molly, not only because I do, but because ... you're ... the girl who saved my life, and Mum will want to hug you" He pulled a face "She probably won't ever let go again" His face broke into a wide grin "And much as I like the idea of you walking around the house with no knickers on, I'll see what I can find for you to wear"

"Not sure your knickers are gonna fit me"

"Hilarious ...a 't' shirt, I meant a fucking 't' shirt" He threw his head back and laughed before looking at her with a serious expression on his face "So, it's agreed then, you're going to stay with me till at least tomorrow and then if you must you'll go home and get some stuff but only as long as you promise you'll come back to me as soon as you can"

"I never said that"

"Well say it now then, especially the bit about making sure you come back to me"

Molly grinned at him in the certain knowledge that it would take at least a team of wild horses to prise her away from him before she really had to go, and she couldn't help thinking that he knew that every bit as well as she did.

"Don't worry, I always come back to you, don't I?"


	4. Chapter 4

_**A/N: This is the last chapter in the "filling in the gaps" between Molly's visit to the hospital and their date and the night after, and up to Smurf's death... and is from Charles' pov - I hope you enjoy it and I know it's been a long time coming, but it was ready to go, except I felt it was a tad long but not long enough to split in two but then couldn't decide what to cut out - the final edit proved too hard so I thought "to hell with it" and decided to publish it as it stands – so apologies in advance if it gets boring because it's too long. The next chapter of Unforeseen Consequences is almost ready ... so will just be a few days xx**_

-OG-

"You never ... stop winding me up"

"What, you don't believe me?" He sniggered and raised his eyebrows at the utter disbelief in her voice.

"Nah" She shook her head and thought for a second, still laughing and very unsure if he was telling the truth "That's cos you're 'aving me on ... go on admit it"

"No I'm not" He'd just told her that he'd gate crashed the wedding "Well, to be fair I was invited but that was just a courtesy, Jackie certainly wasn't expecting me to show up" He smirked, clearly still amused at the memory of the look on Jackie's face when she'd caught sight of him "She was almost as shocked as you were, I thought you were going to pass out or throw up or something"

"So did I" She was suddenly extremely conscious of his hand resting on her bare hip "Why?"

"Why what? Why did I gatecrash? Well, how else was I supposed to see you? I wanted to talk to you and you didn't come and see me, didn't answer your bloody phone …" He smirked at the expression on her face "I knew it could be you'd gone off me, but, you know, if that was it, I needed to hear it from you"

"I haven't gone off you"

"I know … I noticed" A smug expression was creeping over his face as he grinned, which made Molly want to slap him to wipe the smirk off. And then grin back.

"You do know it's not too late don't you?"

"Oh yes it is ….. Sorry"

"Please tell me you didn't just walk out the hospital, cos that would 'ave been bloody stupid …. you didn't even know I was gonna be there, could of been for nothing"

"Had a pretty fair idea, and nope, I'm not completely fucking insane … I got discharged, Lady Luck again" He didn't tell her it wouldn't have made any difference, that he would have discharged himself and walked out if that was what it took "Jackie's your mate so I was pretty sure …. And hey, I could always spend the afternoon debating current affairs with Mansfield … or drinking myself stupid with the lads" He laughed at her expression "It was worth the risk, I'd have hated to miss seeing you all dressed up in that pink frock like the fairy off the Christmas tree"

"Fuck off…. I hated it, I hated the frock and I hated the hair, I hated all of it"

"I know, but I can't think why, you looked beautiful"

-OG-

He hadn't really thought about what was going to come next, all his energies had been focused on spending some time with her. Alone. And of course she'd been right when she'd said they didn't really know each other well enough to start talking about love or commitment and he honestly didn't expect or even want her to stay with him while he did re-hab, but apart from that he simply didn't know. His feelings about all of it, resigning his commission and leaving the army behind and what life was going to be like for him after so many years of certainty, and most of all about her were all pretty ambivalent. He'd certainly had no inkling that day he'd walked out on the tarmac at Brize and first clapped eyes on a pretty little teenager with a tendency to giggle, that his carefully controlled and _organised_ life was going to become a fucking soap opera with her at the heart of it.

It hadn't taken long for him to realise that he really, really liked her, liked the way she made him laugh, often in spite of himself, and there was also the small matter of him finding her overwhelmingly attractive, but he'd got no idea how it had gone from that to something else. He couldn't even remember when he'd started waking every morning with her on his mind and when seeing her had become the high spot of his day, all he did know was by the time he realised it was happening he was right bang slap in the middle of something that he needed to put a lid on for all sorts of reasons. They shouldn't even have been friends, let alone anything else. He was far too old for her, practically middle-aged by comparison, and he was her boss for fuck sake, which made the whole thing completely forbidden. Stupid. Crazy. And all sorts of things he couldn't put a name to. But despite constantly telling himself all that, and that it was purely physical attraction and proximity and that he didn't get emotionally involved in anything anymore, not since Rebecca, nothing could stop the way he felt when she looked at him with those big green eyes of hers full of affectionate mischief. Or when that cheeky grin appeared on her face and he wanted to smile back, to tease her or laugh, and nothing took away the deep need he had to make sure she was happy and safe in ways that went far beyond the normal looking out for the lads. And nothing let him switch off the excoriating jealousy that tortured him whenever he saw her spending time with Smurf.

Sam and his parents had provided the only break in the hospital routine of physio and dressings and struggling to walk with crutches, a routine that quickly became so tedious he even found himself tolerating visits from his ex-wife, although he'd badly wanted to slap the smug smile off her face when she kept asking if he'd had any visits from his beloved 2 Section. He'd had to reluctantly accept that the only other person apart from Sam that he wanted to see wasn't going to visit, that she'd got home to her family andher _normal_ and had changed her mind. That she was moving on with her life and he couldn't blame her for that, in fact, he should be happy about it, so that eventually he'd stopped looking up hopefully every time someone walked past and told himself it was probably for the best and had settled instead for being bored and lonely and irritable with everyone.

-OG-

"What's wrong?"

"Why should there be anything wrong?" She shrugged and giggled although she wasn't sure what she was laughing at "There's nothin' wrong, I'm just a bit gobsmacked, didn't think you were the gate-crashing sort ..."

"See, you don't know everything about me do you?"

"Nah ... never said I did" Molly lifted her head and looked around at the solid and very traditional furnishings in his room "Dead classy in 'ere, innit? ... nice digs ...can't wait till you see mine"

Shit, she hadn't meant to say that. That sounded as if she was planning on taking him home for fuck sake and that wasn't going to happen. She'd actually been trying to think of some way to tell him that she didn't want to stay and meet his mum and dad without saying anything that would upset him, and there was no way on earth she was ever going to introduce him to her dad. The thought of Charles sitting on the sofa in their front room having a chat with Dave made her go all hot and sweaty, almost as much as the thought of trying to stop Dave from seeing him as someone who'd got a bob or two so was good for a loan. It wasn't as if there was any need for him to meet her mum and dad, it wasn't like anyone had made any promises or anything, all he'd said was that he wanted her to see this house at Christmas. And, okay, so it was nowhere near Christmas, but she was here with him because this was what she wanted, no other reason, and definitely not because of any promises or anything, this wasn't some bloody fairy tale and she was still pretty sure how it was going to end up.

"Lovely, I can't wait"

"What? Nah, I didn't mean it, it was ... a joke"

"You don't want to take me home? Does that mean you're ashamed of me? Should I be upset?"

"Nah ... course not, 'n you can stop bleeding laughing 'n all .. it's not funny ... nothing's funny, it's just ... stop it, you know what I mean"

"Do I? To be honest I've got no idea" Charles was obviously enjoying himself laughing and teasing but then relented slightly to prop himself up on his elbow and look at the horrified expression on her face "Come on Dawsey, what are you trying to say here?"

Molly had no idea what was so funny and even less clue of how she'd managed to get herself tied up in a knot when all she'd wanted was to find the words to explain that it felt slutty to be there when his parents got back. She didn't want them to think she was that sort of girl, the sort of girl that made a day trip from London just to sleep with someone, with him, which, to be fair, was exactly what she'd done.

"I'm sorry … I never came to see you in …. I wanted to, I was going to …" Saying she'd intended to do something wasn't the same as actually doing it, so she wouldn't have blamed him if he didn't believe a word that came out of her mouth.

"I'm sorry too"

"It was just … " Molly looked up at his face and decided not to try to hide anything "I hated that everything you care about had gone to shit … and that it was my fault"

"None of it was your fault" He shook his head, and wondered how many times he'd have to say it before she believed him but then also remembered how badly it had hurt when she'd stayed away and hadn't answered his calls "Believe me, not everything I care about has gone to shit"

He pushed his hands into her hair and bunched it in his fingers to pull her to him and hold her there while he touched his lips to hers with gentle pressure and then with far more urgency. But there was no need for him to hold her, she had no intention of going anywhere and wanting nothing more than to show him how sorry she was that she hadn't been to see him. She'd thought about him constantly, but hadn't for a single moment thought he might be feeling the same about her not keeping her promise, so she carefully wound her leg in between his, doing her best to make absolutely sure she didn't hurt him as he opened his mouth hungrily over hers.

For Charles everything had melted away until there was nothing left of the loneliness and hurt that had been there, there was nothing in the world but the feel of her leg sliding over his and the way her body moved against him, the taste of her lips and the smell of her skin and the way her heart was beating frantically as he moved his hand down and stroked her.

-OG-

He woke with a start after what felt like a few minutes dozing, but was closer to a couple of hours of sleep instantly aware of her trying to keep as still as she could but not asleep. He flicked on the bedside light and then, when she jumped violently at the sudden blaze of light, turned it off again immediately.

"What's up? Was I keeping you awake?"

"Nah, it's just …"

"What? Come on, tell me"

"I can't sleep … I don't mean cos of being 'ere with you, it's been like it ever since I got 'ome, it's been … tricky"

The feel of his arms round her in the darkness provided her with enough cover to admit that she'd been worried sick, both about Bashira and about him even when she knew he was going to be alright, and that it had stopped her sleeping because she couldn't seem to get her brain to switch off. He tightened his arms without saying anything, and felt this huge surge of need to take away all her fears and worries so that she could relax and go to sleep. And more than anything in the world he wanted to make her feel safe and loved and happy, and that he wanted to be the one to make her happy.

-OG-

"You know I said I'd stay till they got home? Well, I didn't mean I'd actually still be here" She opened her eyes as wide as she could "You know I'm crap at first impressions … and what are they gonna think, me stopping 'ere … with you …. like this?"

Molly gestured at her bare legs and feet and indicated his blue shirt skimming her thighs and barely covering her bum.

"I need to go and get dressed… else they're gonna think I'm a slapper …. Unless they're used to it,of course, them coming home and finding girls 'ere I mean"

"Of course they are, they're usually lining up outside"

"Hilarious"

"Well, what do you think I am? And they're not going to think anything, certainly not that you're a slapper, they're going to love you ..…. Now will you please stop worrying and drink your bloody tea … and I think you look wonderful in my shirt, it suits you, it's sexy"

She took a sip of the tea that reminded him of creosote and thought for a moment, then put her hands on her hips and glared at him as he sat with his leg propped up on the chair and a happy smirk on his face as he sipped his coffee. He didn't seem to her that he understood how she felt until he pulled her onto his lap and ran his thumb over the frown on her forehead, suddenly realizing she was chewing her bottom lip and that she really was anxious.

"Hey, stop it, you'll make your lip sore …. and stop worrying, they're going to love you, everyone always loves you"

"You didn't"

"Nope, but then I was a total arse …"

"You kept yelling at me 'n trying to make me feel shit … well, even more shit than I already did .. and you threatened to throw me under a bus or something … well, out of the plane anyhow"

"I know" He pulled her against him and hugged her "And I'm sorry …. didn't take me long to see how wrong I was though did it? Or to see how fucking awesome you are"

"Yeah it bloody did ….too long … still… I thought you was a complete knob, a proper Rupert and I _hated_ you so we're quits"

"I know, and I deserved it … but I never hated you …. " He kissed her neck "Bloody glad you've forgiven me, though, I'd hate it if you still thought I was an arse"

"Who says I've forgiven you? I still do think that …" She giggled as he pretended to be hurt and pulled a face "Nah I don't, not really, but listen, don't matter how sexy you think this is" She looked down at herself "I'm still gonna take it off and get dressed properly"

He lifted the heavy bundle of hair tied in a loose bunch at the back of her head and began to kiss her neck as she jerked her head away and made a half-hearted attempt to stand up.

"Stop it, I said I'm gonna get dressed"

"I'll help you"

He moved to unbutton the shirt, fumbling slightly over the first couple of tiny buttons.

"Nah, you don't …. I'm getting dressed not bleeding undressed"

"Let's go back to bed before my parents get back and you abandon me"

She was giggling as he did his best to paint a hurt expression on his face and pulled her back against him struggling not to laugh as he ran his hands up under the shirt and cupped her breasts.

"Nice tits"

"Stop it … 'n get off … 'n I'm not abandoning you am I? I'm gonna get some stuff, I came for me lunch not to move in, I didn't bring all me worldly with me"

"Pity …"

The sound of the front door opening was followed by shouting and someone giving someone else hell, and then the sound of the door slamming shut as Molly heard with mounting horror a woman's voice loudly telling Charles they were home.

"So we hear" He muttered and hastily re-adjusted the front of his joggers before settling her in front of him like a shield "In here, Mum"

"Shit, I knew I should've gone, I'm gonna go ….."

"Whatever you do, don't move"

"I gotta get up, it's rude to stay sitting down when you meet someone" She felt him squirm "I need to get me clothes Charles … oh fuck, I bloody knew this was gonna happen, look at me"

"You look gorgeous … and please sit still"

" I look like a slapper"

Charles mother was very tall and exceptionally slim and was a lot older than Molly had expected. She had very short hair cut close to her head which was mostly dark and nearly as curly as his and she gave Molly the impression she was all bony angles and was about to get airborne any minute. She was just about as far removed from her own comfortably plump mum as it was possible to get and Molly was desperately uncomfortable as she tried to tug the shirt further down her legs and pulled her hair free running her fingers through it and trying to fluff it up. She felt horribly exposed sitting on his lap in just his shirt which barely covered her knickerless bum with a couple of buttons undone and no bra and nothing on her legs and feet either. There was no mistaking that she'd just got out of his bed as she struggled to get to her feet and ignored Charles' little groan when he tried to cross his legs and couldn't.

"Mum … this is Molly, Molly … this is Flora …my mother"

"Hello….Mrs James"

"Flora dear … call me Flora, hello, it's nice to meet you …. Charles, you didn't say a friend was … Molly? MOLLY? You're Molly? Charles …." She turned to look at him with an outraged expression on her face "You didn't tell me she was coming to see you" She looked back at Molly with eyes that were getting suspiciously moist "Or that she was so pretty"

"I'm sure I did"

"No, you didn't, I'd have remembered, I remember you telling me she stopped you bleeding to death and I will never, ever forget that as long as I live … but you didn't tell me she was beautiful"

"Mum, stop it, you're being embarrassing"

Molly could feel the blush as it started to creep up from somewhere round her knees until her face was on fire and even her hair felt like it was blushing. She absolutely hated it when people started on about her saving lives and her being special and all that shit, she wasn't, and she should know that if anyone did, and it embarrassed the fuck out of her. She just wanted to be good at something, and not be singled out for anything else. And she wasn't beautiful either.

"I need to go and get me stuff, it's really nice to meet you Mrs Jam… Flora, but I need to get … it's time I was getting off home"

"Oh no, please don't let me chase you away dear, stay, stay and talk to me while we have a cup of tea, honestly you wouldn't believe how desperate I am for a decent cuppa, the Italians can do a great many things, but they can't make a decent cup of tea ….. so …. so, now tell me, where is home? London I presume"

"Yeah … couldn't you tell? Okay, thanks …"

Molly couldn't think of anything to say that would help her escape, and anyway it would have been churlish to refuse the tea. She had this feeling his mum wouldn't just let her bugger off upstairs and Charles wasn't doing anything to help, instead he patted the chair next to him encouraging her to park her bum so obviously the erection he'd been trying to hide from his mum had subsided enough for him not to need her as a human shield. The minute his mum turned her back Molly stared pointedly at his groin and grinned, but he was undaunted, just winked and grinned happily back at her, before shrugging his shoulders and reaching over to take her hand in his. He stroked his thumb against the inside of her wrist as his mother bustled about making tea and set about interrogating Molly.

She wanted to know what she liked best about being in the army and then burst out that they would be grateful for her being a medic and being out in Afghanistan with their son for the rest of their lives, and if there was ever anything they could do for her, anything she wanted, she only had to ask. Flora then took a deep breath and made an obvious effort to calm down as she swallowed hard and asked Molly what was the worst thing that had happened to her as a girl in the army. Molly felt Charles' grip tighten when she peeped at him from under her lashes and put her head on one side pretending she was carefully considering her answer. It was obvious that he was a tiny bit concerned about what she was going to say so that she was sorely tempted, after all there was plenty to choose from beginning with being called a Doris.

"Let go of her Charles, there's no need to hang onto the girl like that, she's not going to float away"

"Dad …..lovely … hello … Dad, this is Molly, Molly, this is my father, William"

"Hello my dear …. Now I've seen you before somewhere haven't I? Let me think now ….. You were at that wedding last weekend, I noticed you"

He beamed happily at her as she nodded, obviously happy that he was right.

"Yeah I was, 'n I remember seeing you 'n all …hello …"

"Thought so, you were the bridesmaid, weren't you, all pretty in pink … I never forget a pretty face, especially not one as pretty as yours …"

"WILLIAM …. Honestly …this is Molly, Molly is the girl who … you know, Molly, _that Molly_ … Molly the medic …. and stop it, you're embarrassing the poor girl"

"Oh God and you're not of course" Charles stood up and pulled Molly to her feet, then shook his head and threw his head back to roar with laughter, a happy sound that made both his parents smile, it had been a very long time since they'd heard him sound like that "Come on Dawsey, I think that's enough charm and magnetism for one bloody day"

-OG-

"Promise you'll ring when you know what train, and be careful, I know what you're like for collecting strays, want to take them all home with you"

"I do not, and anyway no-one's gonna mess with me, I'm a trained killer aren't I?"

"That's what's bloody worries me" He kissed her for the umpteenth time as they stood smirking happily at each other, arms tightly wrapped around one another's waists as the taxi driver looked on impatiently, and tapped his fingers on the steering wheel. He was obviously itching to get going "Take care"

"I always do, I'm a big girl now"

"I know, but just humour me… okay?."

"I'm gonna go, else I'm gonna miss me train …. And you shouldn't be standing out 'ere without your boot …your bloody leg'll drop off if you're not careful …. Prannet"

"What the hell's that?"

"Dunno … you'll 'ave to ask me Nan …. I'm going" She giggled "NOW"

"Okay … if you must …."

"I must" Molly smirked happily "See you soon … "

"Go on then, piss off Dawsey, sooner you get your stuff, the sooner you'll be back"

He was still laughing as he kissed her and held the door of the taxi for her to climb in and then stood and waved goodbye and watched as the taxi took her away from him and he tried to rid himself of the acute attack of déjà vue. To his utter consternation it felt exactly like watching her leave him at the FOB and he had the same instinctive desire to run after her and stop her going.

-OG-

The happiness bubbling up inside him made him want to take the stairs two at a time as he always had before Badrai had done his worst, but as it was he almost crawled up them to his room as the convalescent exhaustion became overwhelming. He didn't really expect to be able to sleep, even though he was exhausted after the last day and night, especially the night and when the bed was rumpled and felt big and cold and empty, she'd only been there with him for one night but it felt as if a part of him was missing.

"Here, coffee? Mind, it's hot"

"Thanks Mum … what time is it?" He sipped at piping hot Rosabaya as his mother told him he'd been asleep for more than four hours and that she'd wondered whether to just leave him, but had then worried that he wouldn't be able to sleep that night. Charles grinned as he took another mouthful of the coffee "Molly calls this my poncey shit, says she can't think why I don't drink Nescafe like real people"

"Yes, I can imagine her saying it" Flora chuckled "She's a lovely girl, Charles, but …. ."

"I know she is … but what Mum? What are you trying to say?" He took another sip of his coffee "I know she's a lot younger than me if that was what you were going to say"

"Don't be ridiculous…. Of course I wasn't, age doesn't matter, your dad is eight years older than me and look how long we've been together, that is NOT what's important, that girl adores you, anyone can see that, you can see it in the way she looks at you…. No, I'm trying to warn you not to mess it up with all your worrying about what's right and just …. enjoy what you've got with her" Flora patted his arm "You deserve to be happy"

"Wow, where did all that come from? I mean I know you're right … but you don't need to sell her to me, Mum …."

He leant over to find his phone that was ringing somewhere buried in the duvet and squinted at the display, before grinning widely and chuckling. He hadn't expected to hear from her for hours yet, hadn't expected her to come back until at least the following day at the earliest.

"Hey … hello you … I didn't think you'd ….. what's wrong?"

Charles swung his legs off the bed and turned his back on his mother who was watching him with deep concern written all over her face.

"What do you mean, dead? How can he be dead? What the fuck's happened? Oh fuck, fuck ….."


End file.
